Put an ad online and in the paper with a headline of “ Free Work boots! “
You see, all Lefties love free stuff. How on earth would they cope with a pair of free work boots? Would they still grab a pair and put them in the closet? Or would they turn them in to a fashion accessory? Probably the latter. I can see them now – wearing their rainbow hair, nose piercings, tattoos and sporting a pair of work boots as they sashay down to attend the latest “ mumbo jumbo my mother should have aborted me and that is OK “ rally . (apologies to Mr Gormsby.)
Lefties are weird. Certifiably peculiar. They are easy to spot in a crowd : they are the ones that don’t laugh, don’t wash and don’t work. They are often found during working hours queuing up for free stuff – including free signs that declare that eating animals is bad and murdering babies is good. They embrace hordes of disease ridden people from Africa and the Middle East and then, when they ( the Lefties ) are raped or beaten, yell that it is Trump’s fault.
Because Trump is bad.
Trump causes global warming, even though global warming doesn’t exist. Apparently it is now Climate Change, a Global Climate Emergency, Catastrophe and it is worth telling little kids all about it so that they can become as traumatized and deluded as they are. Men are wicked, homosexuals and sexual deviants are Rainbow People and the world will end in 12 years if Trump is not impeached. Immediately.
Lefties are weird, peculiar and dangerous.
Coal is bad. Laughing is bad. Kneeling is good. Being a Patriot is bad. Cows fart so they are bad. Just don’t eat them because that is bad too. Walls and borders are bad but walls and locks on their doors at home are good. It is like the can of John West Tuna that declares it is dolphin friendly – who gives a shit about the poor bloody tuna?
Life is a set of scales. You have to get the measures right. Too much of one thing and not enough of the other – result? Imbalance. We need to be measured in life. But Lefties want everything free and, as far as they are concerned, planet Earth would be one huge avocado farm with a few decaffeinated coffee plantations thrown in – for good measure. There would be some rice paddies and some soy latte orchards of course.
But the bottom line is that free work boots would confuse them and they would not know what to do. Because free and work are two things that would confuse a Democrat. Maybe we should just give them the boot and be done with it.
