Once upon a time,back in 2018, I decided to hold a party, and everyone in the neighbourhood was invited. It started off well.... everyone was cheery and polite, laughing and having a good time. Bring a plate is something Australians understand. It means you do not come empty handed to a party. As the evening wore on, some of the guests started criticising the food and mocking the other guests.
It soon became clear that the louder and more vocal guests were taking over the flow of conversation. I tried to tell the more outspoken guests that it might be nice if they toned their voices and rhetoric down. For a while, they did. And those that had started to huddle in the corners started to mingle again and chat with others. " Thank goodness! " I thought, as I whipped off to prepare a fresh round of canapes and nibblies.
Unfortunately, by the time I returned, the rather enthusiastic guests had started getting up to their old tricks again and were performing party acrobatics and taking the " mickey " out of the less outgoing in their company. A few of the quiet ones started to get angry and were saying things like " this is not your party. Stop trying to take over. " to which the others replied " this is not your house, not your party so bugger off. " And they chortled and laughed and downed another drink and slugged on another round of the free canapes.
A few guests started to leave. They had apparently had enough of the atmosphere and, as the host, I was frantically trying to calm things down.
Some telephoned me after they fled and said " if that neighbour of yours ever comes back to another party, I won't attend. "
So I told the rowdy next door neighbour that he was not welcome at any future parties.
It did not go down well. Suffice to say, I got letters and calls from other neighbours who felt I had been unjust and that " old mate " was a good bloke and just needed a bit of tolerance.
I agreed. " Old mate" came back to my next party and he was very well behaved, courteous and great company. But later that evening, he became a bit tiresome again and the neighbours who had returned after my last abortive attempt to host a party, started to huddle once more and get even more angry than the last event I had hosted.
They came up to me and said " we can't do this anymore. This is your home and you invited him. If you want us to come to your parties, sorry, but we will decline your next invitation. "
Little by little, the numbers of the attendees at my parties dwindled.
All the fun had gone out of the event. To attend was to risk ridicule or to have a fight. To not attend was so much easier.
I was at my wit's end. I decided to hire a party planner. Surely this would be the way to go?
The party planners invited the whole neighbourhood.
Let's all start again and put neighbourhood disputes aside. If you parked your boat outside of Miriam's house, and Miriam put her rubbish bin in your driveway, then that is over.
Come back and enjoy a nice cup of tea.
Some neighbours locked their gates and pretended that they weren't home. Others fronted up with a plate of savoury snacks and others brought flowers.
The party planners were eager to see how the evening went.
As they stood in the foyer, ready to greet the guests, several of the vocal neighbours who had previously been told that they were not welcome, strolled in and announced " It's Party Time! "
The other neighbours either said " well, I don't agree " or said " well, hell, if you are here, where is old mate the bloke from number 53 not here? "
And, all of a sudden, my happy party became a place to discuss why the old chap from number 53 had not attended.
Did he get an invitation?
Has his gate been locked against his will?
Some of the guests suggested that they get out the bolt cutters and tear down the gate, free the bloke from number 53 and celebrate his triumphant return.
Meanwhile, I stood in the kitchen, while the party planners saw the party turn into a non event.
" Better luck next time? "
There won't be a next time if this continues.
Bring a plate is down to a few good neighbours and the rest just rampage in for free eats.
Neighbourhood parties are nice. But sometimes the guest list leaves a lot to be desired.
I still want to hold my parties. I have tried the open guest list and I have tried " invitation only. "
The only problem is that my house is being trashed and hardly anyone is bringing a plate.
How long would you put up with it?
So here is the deal.
My home is not a place to put up images that are offensive to my older women or women in general. I saw one this afternoon that was dreadful. I " asked " that the moderators delete it. They did.
I will not accept anything that Mrs Flysa or Redhead find offensive.
More importantly, I will not be sent to the laundry to be quiet so that party crashers can have fun when they do not pay the bills, provide the refreshments and the venue.
My site is my site. It is only our site when we respect the motivation of the site owner.
If you are pro lockdown, pro destruction of human rights, and pro mandatory vaccination, this is not the site for you.
It was a heartfelt opportunity to start again but all that has happened is that old posters have left because they no longer feel welcome at my get together.
Well, all I can say is I learned a valuable lesson.
I have always said that you should be responsible for your own actions and never delegate something that you feel strongly about.
I will never delegate that responsibility again.
I am back in charge and the mod squad taught me a valuable lesson: if you own something, protect it. Don't let it be destroyed because someone says it is not yours to protect.
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