Another 26th of January is here. It's time to gather our daggy thongs, search out the shorts with the flag plastered all over them and order in a few slabs, a keg or 3 and assemble around the barbie at the appointed hour ( normally around 11 am ) to tell a few mate jokes and sink a few tinnies.
We'll dust off the cricket bat and ball while the missus makes the salads and the kids are reminded that beer always lives in the bathtub on Australia Day." Oi! Get your Dad a beer! " will resonate around this great dusty island and we will slag each other off and tell tall tales and true about who had a convict in their ancestry.
Old mate from down the road called Luigi or some other woggie name will take a good hearted hammering and Jimmy Jimmy from up north will bring out his collection of Kevin Bloody Wilson cassettes and no one will own a cassette player.
We'll have a back up though: a youtube link on the smart TV with old Kevin singing about Santa or about living next door to Alan Bond and we all know the lyrics so we'll sing along and laugh and pat each other on the back and call each other a lazy bastard.
Not that any of us are. We all work hard and we all know we are just taking the piss. It's an Aussie, bloke thing.
Not one of us will talk about Invasion Day. Not one of us will lament the day that our ancestors were transported from the old country to the new and not one of us will apologise for being Aussie.
Most of us won't even know it is the anniversary of the date of the arrival of the First Fleet at Sydney Cove in 1788.
On 13 May 1787 a fleet of 11 ships, which came to be known as the First Fleet, was sent by the British Admiralty from England to New Holland. Under the command of Captain Arthur Phillip, the fleet sought to establish a penal colony at Botany Bay on the coast of New South Wales, which had been explored and claimed by Lieutenant James Cook in 1770.
The settlement was seen as necessary because of the loss of the Thirteen Colonies in North America. The Fleet arrived between 18 and 20 January 1788, but it was immediately apparent that Botany Bay was unsuitable. On 21 January, Phillip and a few officers travelled to Port Jackson, 12 kilometres (7.5 mi) to the north, to see if it would be a better location for a settlement.
They stayed there until 23 January; Phillip named the site of their landing Sydney Cove, after the Home Secretary, Thomas Townshend, 1st Viscount Sydney. They also made contact with the local Aboriginal people. They returned to Botany Bay on the evening of 23 January, when Phillip gave orders to move the fleet to Sydney Cove the next morning, 24 January.
That day, there was a huge gale blowing, making it impossible to leave Botany Bay, so they decided to wait till the next day, 25 January. However, during 24 January, they spotted the ships Astrolabe and Boussole, flying the French flag, at the entrance to Botany Bay; they were having as much trouble getting into the bay as the First Fleet was having getting out.
On 25 January the gale was still blowing; the fleet tried to leave Botany Bay, but only HMS Supply made it out, carrying Arthur Phillip, Philip Gidley King, some marines and about 40 convicts; they anchored in Sydney Cove in the afternoon.
On 26 January, early in the morning, Phillip along with a few dozen marines, officers and oarsmen, rowed ashore and took possession of the land in the name of King George III.
Meanwhile, back at Botany Bay, Captain John Hunter of HMS Sirius made contact with the French ships, and he and the commander, Captain de Clonard, exchanged greetings.
Clonard advised Hunter that the fleet commander was Jean-François de Galaup, comte de La Pérouse. Sirius successfully cleared Botany Bay, but the other ships were in great difficulty.
Charlotte was blown dangerously close to rocks; Friendship and Prince of Wales became entangled, both ships losing booms or sails; Charlotte and the Friendship actually collided; and Lady Penrhyn nearly ran aground. Despite these difficulties, all the remaining ships finally managed to clear Botany Bay and sail to Sydney Cove on 26 January. The last ship anchored there at about 3 pm.
So all those people calling it " invasion day " could easily be yelling " jour de l'invasion "had it not been for a very windy day.
I can't imagine a backyard gathering of people drinking champagne and gathering around the fondue set ready to play a quick game of boules and someone yelling " Oi! Get another slice of fromage and chuck it in the fondue and get Papa a champers! "
Australia Day is about celebrating being Australian. Not who we were, but who we hope to be. Not where we came from, but where we are now. Not what was, but what we have.
Being grateful to be part of the future, not of the past.
How hard is this for the dickheads from the left to understand?
No one owns this country.
NO ONE. We are all guests but, for the moment, I want to enjoy Australia Day and my moment in the sun. I have the daggy shorts in the wash. The flag is on the car and the beers are on ice.
And I can't play cricket for shit.
Cheers and have a great Australia Day.
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