My late and most wonderful of Uncles was the King of humour and he held court with his extraordinary ability to spin a yarn.
He had a knack - the ability to paint pictures with words and one of his favourite jokes was about " Big Jake "
Big Jake was a hero. Now, has he become the harbinger of hell?
My late Uncle's joke simply doesn't sound funny anymore. It is deadly serious.
What used to make me laugh now fills me with dread.
How did our humour become more a Biblical prophecy and less a yarn spun around a table over a few beers?
As many people may remember Big Jake was a 1971 movie starring John Wayne.
In 1909, when John Fain's gang kidnaps Jacob McCandles' grandson and holds him for ransom, Big Jake sets out to rescue the boy.
McCandles Ranch is run over by a gang of cutthroats led by the evil John Fain. They kidnap little Jacob McCandles and hold him for one million dollars ransom. There is only one man brave enough, tough enough, and smart enough to bring him back alive, and that man is Big Jake.
Yet today, Big Jake is more a monster than a man on a mission. Our heroes are being turned into monsters and our lives are destroyed by fear and dread of what may come. Big Jake is now a phantom that is being portrayed as a creature who no longer bears any resemblance to the original BIg Jake.
To me, Big Jake was that hero: that bigger than life person who rode in and saved the day when all hope was lost.
But even the likes of John Wayne, President Trump and Ronald Reagan cannot stop the MSM fuelled stampede of fear that Covid has created.
Big Jake has been turned into a fear that rides into our communities and robs us of hope and steals our ability to think that our children can be safe and not held to ransom.
OUR Big Jake has been hijacked and our lives have been turned into a living hell because Big Jake is no longer riding into town to save us. He rides into town to warn us of an even bigger menace that is yet to come.
In truth, Big Jake has become the hound of hell arriving before the apocalypse and we all cower down in fear in dread of what is coming next.
from John Podesta's art collection
How many Big Jake's can our governments release to keep us in perpetual fear?
How many alerts and warnings will they announce?
And more importantly, who - or what - is the new BIG JAKE?
I think I preferred John Wayne and President Trump. This new one is not winning brownie points with me. What a shame my favourite joke has become a prophecy from HELL.
It was a sleepy day in a sleepy town, and the quiet community of Beerswig Flats slumbered through yet another day of heat, haze and dusty horror.
The pub was open and the wing doors swung open in the heat filled wind from the Outback of Barcoo.
.
Old Johnny, the publican, stood behind the bar and polished the glasses while a few customers chugged down a few fingers of whisky and a few cold beers.
Out, on the horizon, a dust cloud formed. The townsfolk looked out beyond the confines of their community and saw a giant man, riding a huge kangaroo.
He rode into town and the ground thundered and the sky fractured with the energy and the sheer might of his presence.
He slung the kangaroo to the ground and staggered up to the pub and managed to make it to the bar.
" Big Jake's a comin" he whispered through his raspy throat.
" Gimme me a whisky" he said. The Bartender poured him a shot and he slugged it down . He then staggered out and disappeared into the vast termite mounds that surrounded Beerswig Flats.
Not long afterwards, the town saw yet another dust storm on the horizon.
Another huge man was riding in and the same thing happened.
The townsfolk were worried - they had heard about Big Jake.
Was Big Jake a coming?
They closed up their houses and were frightened about what was about to happen.
The ground trembled. The land shook. The community was in fear.
The publican huddled behind the bar. The townsfolk hid behind their windows and curtains.
All of the town was boarded up. No one walked in the streets. Even the feral pigs had headed off into the scrub.
The earth thundered. The dust was so great that no one could see. The entire area was cowered in fear of Big Jake.
As the huge spectre became bigger and greater, people could see the man, riding the giant kangaroo.
The fear that he aroused was immense.
Throughout the town, the thunder of the warnings was deafening.
The HUGE man came into town. He threw his kangaroo onto the ground and stomped up to the bar.
The publican shook and shuddered behind his timber bar and , with a quivering voice, said
" What ya doin here Mister? "
And the big, giant of a man said
" Ain't ya heard? "
Big Jake's a coming.
Our entire lives are being ruled by everlasting waves of the new Big Jakes.
When are we going to wake up and realise that our old Big Jake isn't coming back to save us.
No matter how much ransom we pay, they will always want more.
Listen to the " joke " read by Malcolm.
Maybe we need a big Roger to ride into town? I suspect that many politicians would shudder with fear if Roger turned up.
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