Readers with a culinary interest might have found the food being cooked aboard the Wanderlust II during its voyage through the canals of France appealing and might also enjoy the following article.
It comes from my files of food articles written and published over more than 20 years as a food critic.
Therefore, it’s now your turn to criticise my work. Patriot Realm ( Monty) and I welcome your feedback, it will determine if the ‘foodie’ concept will continue or be left on a vacant seat at the local pizza parlor. And, for those interested, in the crossing of the Atlantic voyage rest assured it is in the can and shall in due course be dolled out as a series. A lot of fine food in that series also. The entire voyage was 57 days.
However, back to our star of the day. Asparagus.
Manifestly ‘Provoketh’ Venus
Asparagus lovers rejoice as spring has sprung. As often said, " the grass is riz " and I’m buggered if I know where " them birdies is" . Probably piled high under a wind turbine somewhere.
But the avid gourmand dreams of those little green treasures again shyly poking their knobby heads through the warming soils—solely for our gastronomic delight.
Asparagus is a distant cousin of the onion and garlic. The name came from Greek to Latin, perhaps from Persian to Greek, from Latin corrupted to sperage or sparrow grass. It was cultivated for at least 2,000 years in eastern Mediterranean countries, in Egypt, and the rest of Africa. In ancient Greece, it was considered a sacred plant with aphrodisiac properties. Hippocrates used it for diarrhea and urinary complaints; perhaps its asparagine components have diuretic properties.
Unfortunately, the asparagus season arrives but once in the food cycle with a trickle at first and then as a glut. Outside of that, they are too expensive and rather tasteless and the canned varieties taste nothing at all like the real thing. I haven’t a clue just how they achieved that disaster.
Asparagus, cultivated and wild, thrive in many countries around the world. However, it does grow best where the ground freezes during winter months and has been a luxury vegetable since the times of Julius Caesar and thus enjoys quite a history in folklore. While living in Canada I would often find the little beauties growing by the roadside near Montreal, although, no such luck around this land of wheat, sheep, fire and drought.
Each May, residents of Empire, Michigan dress up in asparagus costumes and hold huge asparagus cook-offs featuring everything from soups and soufflés to casseroles and crepes. They sing, dance, compete in athletic events and drink lots of grog. But the highlight of the two-day event is the “Ode to Asparagus” competition, where local bards outdo each other in paying homage to their beloved vegetable.
Sorry Chaucer. That was me.
Australia is also suited to growing asparagus and its industry is or was the eighth largest producer in the world. The net value is around $50 million, with more than 95% of production coming from Victoria with no help whatsoever from Dan.
Some growing advantages are low chemical use and relative freedom from pests (like Dan) and diseases. Green asparagus is the dominant variety grown here with some white asparagus and a very limited amount of (gasp) purple asparagus. Our growing season extends from August to December and perhaps through to March and April.
“Velocius quam asparagi coquantur”. That was a popular saying of the Roman Emperor, Augustus. From the now, almost lost language of Latin, it means, faster than you can cook asparagus. I don’t know why Augustus used that saying because being the Emperor of Rome who craved pantagruelian banquets,
In other words, really big food fests of monstrous proportions.
Remind you of anyone?
I’ll wager he never fronted a stove in his life and knew nothing about cooking. It’s well documented that Roman Emperors reserved most of their energies for marathon feats of debauchery. Doesn’t that sound rather like some members of our parliaments? Nevertheless, his saying does indicate a preference for lightly cooked asparagus.
I wonder what he would have thought about the soggy, limp things we get in cans? Someone should be off to meet the lions over that mess.
Although the vegetable is mentioned in man’s earliest writings, its origin is uncertain but many have written of its attributes throughout the ages.
“Manifestly provoketh Venus,” is how one Elizabethan lady scribe in possession of a rather furtive imagination referred to the noble asparagus. By virtue of its shape, no doubt the vegetable was thought, during those chaste times to have considerable, aphrodisiac powers.
Actually, its very shape is rather telling.
Ironically, the sex of an asparagus, which should grab the attention of all aspiring young botanists, is most unusual. This vegetable is capable of bursting forth with fully functional hermaphroditic blossoms; it’s not known what triggers this development in some stalks and not in others. Fear not, it’s not contagious.
Although, with the current spate of gender reassignment we learn anything goes.
Culpepper’s Complete Herbal, (1652) advises that asparagus, “Stirreth up bodily lust in man or woman, no matter what some have written to the contrary.”
As for the eating, if you have to use off-season or old asparagus, which are stringy and bitter, a rich sauce or tart vinaigrette will make them more desirable. On the other hand abandon the notion altogether.
The flavour of fresh asparagus is best when simply prepared. To remove the woody part of the stalk, don’t cut it, but bend it about two-thirds down the stem until it snaps. They always seem to snap in exactly the right place; I save the ends for a soup.
The easiest and I think the best way of cooking fresh asparagus is to simmer them, just covered with water until the stems are cooked but not soft. I always add a spoon of sugar and a pinch of salt to the water, it adds a perfect touch of sweetness and I think it keeps them nice and green.
The seasonal glut of asparagus will have its devotees enjoying them at every meal. If you do tire of eating them plain, soused in butter or under a variety of white sauces try this method, it also serves as a great salad.
ASPARAGUS VINAIGRETTE
serves two
Cook asparagus until al dente and chill.
4 tbs vegetable oil
1 tbs wine vinegar
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 tbs wine vinegar
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 clove garlic, chopped
2 shallots, finely chopped
pinch of sugar
Pepper & salt
Pepper & salt
Mix vinaigrette ingredients until blended and pour over chilled asparagus.
To make a full salad of it, lay a bed of lettuce and add tomatoes, chopped eggs, fruits, or whatever takes your fancy.
Remember, overcooked asparagus guarantees an appointment in the lion’s den.
Chaucer
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