I recently was told by some neighbours that they had decided to move to a Retirement village nearby, but some kilometers from the beach where we enjoy a couple of minutes walk and we are on the golden sand.
Husband does not want to move, but the lady of the house does. I felt they must be mad, and said so, it was not as if they weren't moneyed enough to afford help , plenty of cash, they had installed a lift, so no problems with knees . Lovely house and pool. Why? Why do some women feel they have to move, make a change that their husband does not want , all because they feel they need something different. Both either have reached 80 or in her case nearly there.
When my husband was still with us we would have discussed this desire to move , attacked it from all angles and decided that probably I was bored and thought that a change of situation would make me feel better. What would we have done about it? Several proposals would have been forwarded .. a holiday a change of scenery , oh no .. travel overseas and inter State is banned.
Is this the problem, this lockdown has altered our routines , our lives have been put on hold , only answer is sell up and move somewhere different. We are still allowed to do that.... that will relieve the boredom. We will have the fun of packing , the fun of setting up a new house , meeting new people, joining new clubs. Discarding things we no longer use or want to keep.
Until the reality returns and suddenly it is realized what has happened. Neither one is happy , miss the friends and neighbours we have known for years. Miss the familiar routine, walk to the beach with the dog every morning , chat with the others enjoying the sunrise and the crashing waves. Oh why did we move.
This is why it so important to both have an input into any decision that will effect both members of the family. Be fair about it, not just say this is what I want. This is what we are going to do. We have to get our side of the situation out in the open too. Don't let ourselves be persuaded to do something we know will be a disaster. Just because we don't want to upset the lady of the house. Or the leaders in the other houses.
This year and it is nearly over, but will the restrictions , the frustrations, the fear be over . Will we have to be careful that because of this terrible year we have not done and made decisions we will regret . Such as selling our lovely home, trying to find light at the end of the tunnel , trying to put some perspective back into living.
This is why we talk things over and we say what we feel, try and find a solution that is satisfactory to both. It is no good staying silent and trying to be helpful if it is going to make one of you distressed and unhappy.
That is not what marriage is all about , it is a Partnership, doing and discussing changes to the benefit of both not just one member . Be honest , be truthful , that is what works in the end.
What a pity our Governments don't share this view.
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