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I just heard about a guy who was shot by a starting pistol. Police believe it is race related.


I viewed a woman's profile on a dating site back in the day :
Blonde 33 From London Great Personality 5ft 3 green eyes.
Don't get me wrong, I like short girls, but 3 green eyes?


I had a good morning today.
I've just sold my entire collection of Sooty, Sweep and Sue puppets...
Someone is paying me $200 to take them off my hands.


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I always carry a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet....
....just to remind me why there is no money in there.


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 A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is.
A little boy in back yells, "G"
"Why is that, Angus?"


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